I Have No Words

These pieces were made in a three-month flurry recently. I continue to be stunned by this age of the pandemic, and worry incessantly about the mental toll it is taking on me, on this country, and on the world. I Have No Words is clearly sarcastic. Words are all I have to poke my way around the feelings, the anxiety, the sheer absurdity of what is happening RIGHT NOW. 

Thus far, over 1000 new words/phrases have been added to the lexicon. They all deal with Covid; new phrases such as "social distance", and familiar words with a new context such as "flattening the curve." I painted all of the pieces with my own handwriting, both printing and cursive, lower case and all caps. Sometimes I treat the letterforms just as that, shapes and forms that are abstract and not meant to be clearly legible. This lack of clarity seems to fit the times, as well as the circular runaround and the circus of color and contrast. 

I am immunocompromised, and have spent the last year running the gamut from terrified to angry to flat out denial. I have quit jobs, moved, severed ties with many people, perhaps permanently if I am being honest. 

 

I have also spent the last couple years tactilely, tangibly, making things with my hands to feel like I have contributed. I needed to employ this sense of touch more than ever before, to combat the multiple screens in my life sending incomprehensible “news” every hour of every day. And to combat the lack of touch in my personal life. 

Despite the subject matter, I did these as meditation. Painting has been my therapy. I tried real therapy, but it’s expensive and I couldn’t find a meditative rhythm like I could with painting and color.I did not plan much. Each time I entered the studio, I knew exactly what to do next. This is rare for me. I just let it flow. I've been obsessed with the mandala for years, and the bright colors and high contrast were the only way to get through my fog and hold my attention.